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When My Fear Happened

Recently I was in a precarious position, or should I say, state, at school where I had to leave my class in the able hands of a dear colleague to answer one of four major calls all humans receive.

I had an upset stomach, to put it mildly, the day before. But because I wasn’t teaching, I could handle it. I could go as often as needed, not necessarily because I wanted to! And I thought it was all over given the amount of dry bread I chewed (Nigerian remedy)! But no oh. A part two was about to be unveiled.

First lesson/class/period was just about okay. Start of the 2nd, I started to feel the pressure on my intestines. I had to get the students in and on task, then looked outside my classroom repeatedly to find someone to cover for me while I made that visit. The corridor looked busy with staff while I was settling the class. When I then needed one, it looked as if they’d all disappeared. Like they knew what was coming!!

Thankfully, one showed up but she was on her way out for a school trip. I explained my predicament to her and she gladly helped. I was very grateful!! I successfully made my own private trip and was glad to be relieved even though I felt drained. I almost cried when another colleague came to check on me. I was that weak but no losing it in front of students! No such luxury. Haha… Be grateful if you can cry freely at work.

When I got back to the lesson, the students was surprisingly quiet, and looked at me with puppy eyes, like they knew something was amiss but were not sure if they could ask. And I didn’t volunteer any answers either! What happens “in there” stays “in there“!

The point of this true life story? This is something I’ve feared and imagined could happen to me. It’s nearly happened before, first year of teaching, during an observation with mentors. I was physically sweating and really really really needed to go but I wasn’t sure how to request for a transfer mid-season! I survived that pressure till the end of the lesson and then had to wait another 10 minutes or so for feedback, trying to smile and sound logical at the same time while a volcano was bubbling up (or is it down?) inside me!

But GOD is always good! He kept me till the end! Thank GOD I made it! #frankedwards

Back to my point. Job said, the thing I’ve feared the most has come upon me – Job 3:25. That’s one verse that came to mind after this most recent experience. I’ve imagined this scenario before. Probably far too many times actually. And it’s shown me the power of my imagination, even though not in a way I’d like to have learned.

I’ll take the liberty of presuming that the opposite is true. Restructuring Job’s words, the thing I’ve believed the most has come upon me. Because, through and truly, what is fear but the opposite of faith and the belief of a lie that empowers the lie, giving it your authority, thus bringing it to pass in your life?!

What other negative and unpleasant things do I, do you, have a recurring and constant fear of happening? Well, no more delays. Recognise them quickly! Before they turn into real monsters wrecking untold havoc. Take those fears and see them for what they really are – lies. Repent from them and give them Jesus, exchanging them for HIS Hope and Faith.

Like Kris Vallotton says, don’t reduce your life to accommodate your fears. Even with my upset tummy, I was still eating everything I’d normally eat. In the same way, whatever fear(s) you realise are in your life, do exactly the opposite of what your fear is asking you to do.

Whenever I think I’m about to make a decision from a place of fear, I do the opposite. So if I was going to say no to an opportunity because of fear of anything, I’ll say yes and tell myself I’ll not die. (Of course, within the confines of not intentionally putting myself in danger.)

To your being courageous and believing the right things till they happen, . . .

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