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Writer's pictureChinwe Njoku

Toilet Thinking

Not every time something deep, sometimes mess about, sometimes something silly! I live a real life (just thought I’ll drop that one there briefly!) and if you’re anything like me, you may be able to relate to what follows in the next few paragraphs!

Do you ever sit on that most important white seat in your house and get some ‘inspiration’ from above or around you as you empty down below? Haha…

Well, I really do think some funny thoughts, at least I find them so funny I smile at myself, as my physical insides are getting their regular spring clean. For examples,

Do you ever feel like you’ve lost some weight after you’ve spent some time downloading that you’re almost 100% sure that if you weighed before and after, the scale would have registered different numbers?


Would you put a do-not-enter crime scene tape around the toilet door or in other words, tell the next person waiting to use the loo after you, that you’ve committed poo-icide, so that they approach the scene cautiously and be prepared to deal with the evidence, if any (there would be, at least nasally) whilst leaving theirs?

If I smell stuff because they are in their gaseous state, does it mean that the smell of fart is actually poo in its gaseous form? If yes, what happens when it exists the building and hits room temperature? Does it solidify? If yes, then don’t people need to clean up after farting? And where does it condense to after escaping? Maybe the whole planet is dirty!!!

Is it just me or does it ever happen to you too, that when you have done a good emptying out of your bowels, then your bladder follows suit, like it’s jealous it hasn’t been emptied out properly too? No? Maybe it’s just me then. Hehehe…


One of my pet peeves is when I go to use a toilet that’s for adults and the previous user has decided to paint it brown or maybe even red, but didn’t think that their followers wouldn’t be so keen on viewing their work of art! It annoys me even more when there’s a brush next to the white canvas to brush over said artwork but it obviously wasn’t used! Or they forgot brushing goes well with painting?!

And why are toilets mainly white? One would think they’d at least be brown to provide some privacy! Is it that white is the cheapest color? Or so you can clearly see what you have accomplished? I think I’ve seen a black toilet before. But that was in Greece! Feels like Greek to me! Lol . . .

In houses I’ve been to including mine in Nigeria, when the toilet and bath are in separate rooms, the wash hand basin goes in the room with the toilet or even outside of both rooms sef! In this UK, I think you’re more likely to see the bathroom and basin together. Then the toilet by itself. Is it that they expect somebody to use the flushing water to flush that somebody’s hands also?


Do you ever feel praises rising from within literally after a successful delivery? Like you begin to ponder GOD’s amazing blessings that you can empty out after being filled in. I don’t want to imagine people that find it difficult to go! So let me just park well and be thanking GOD for this HIS bountiful gift of deliverance!

I hope you managed to laugh or at least break a smile with these few examples of how my mind works sometimes!

To your enjoying every process, . . .

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