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Road Rage I

I just had my first official road rage in a very long time, so long ago was the last one that I don’t remember it. I don’t see the point of raging on the road, it’s a waste of energy and it takes a while for all that adrenaline to diffuse! Usually I just slow down and allow them go because the thing that might be chasing them is not chasing me! Praise GOD!!

From my last post, some of you may have deciphered that I’m back home in Nigeria. Since I don’t have a car, nor the guts to drive one, I’ve been commuting by taxi to most places. Before I delve into my rage,

let me educate you a bit! Haha . . .

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So today, I decided to use public transport to run all the errands I had to run. For the un-informed amongst you my dear readers, there are at least 8 forms of public transport in Lagos, Nigeria. In ascending order of number of passengers, we have

(1) Your two legs. Well, I’ve included that because you’re part of the public and you’re transporting yourself on public roads! Walking in Lagos is a skill in itself as there’s no regard for pedestrian paths. So you need to keep rotating your head 360° to make sure you get home with all your body parts intact.

(2) Motor bikes aka okada, which can carry up to 4 people including the driver depending on how broke and/or desperate you are. In Lagos traffic, where a 30-minute journey can be upwards of 4-5 hours, these can be like GOD making your feet like hinds’ feet to get you out of traffic. This option requires a lot of Psalm 91 recitals, because their riders act like they’re are preparing to meet their Maker, not your destination.

(3) 3-cycled vehicles aka keke, seating up to 5 people typically. Sometimes, smaller humans can be carried on the lap to squeeze all the juice from the fare. They are safer than okada but can be driven by people who want to break the sound barrier. So you have to keep praying but probably not as much as option (2).

(4) Yellow and black taxis, some at the brink of extinction. As in when I see some of these cabs, I tell myself I have nothing to worry about my Bumblebee because if these are still on the roads, my car is a luxurious jetliner in comparison! #justsaying

(5) Taxify or Uber. Well, if you’re not in the back side of the desert like Moses was, you must know these. In Lagos, however, the rules are funny because the drivers can decide not to take you to your destination if they think the traffic there might shorten their life span or income that day! Not sure if that happens elsewhere.

(6) 7-seater small buses that you pray and hope someone horizontally-advantaged does not sit next to you, or you’ll wish you had just paid for two seats, or pray harder for GOD to bless you with your own car. I once used it as a taxi when I couldn’t find one and I was running late.

(7) 14 to 18-seater medium-sized buses aka danfo, that typically would have been scrapped like 10 years ago in other parts of the world or should be in some museum of transportation history. Some of these have their natural seats taken out and wooden benches put in to maximise how many people fit in. I saw one whose tyre was about 30° out of line, but it was still moving.

And finally, (8) Molue – I don’t even think there’s an English name for it because come to think of it, I’ve not seen similar buses elsewhere but in Lagos but they carry an infinite amount of people who get on and off while the bus is in motion.

Believe it or not, yours truly has used all 8 forms to get from point A to B in this life, whether recent or past. Go figure . . .

Carry on to part two here . . .

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