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Writer's pictureChinwe Njoku

My other half (not)

“Aww you two make a lovely couple!”

“I love the way you and your husband dance in church, moving in the same direction.”

“You look a lot like your husband.”

“Is this your other half?”

“How long have you two been married?”

Okay, I made that last one up but with the seriousness and increasing regularity of these types of comments, I might as well just prophesy that that question is in the pipeline, waiting to leave a mouth near me very soon!!


I was inspired to write this post based on a recent one by a dear friend at

Belles Gemmes about people’s views of her “petite self”.

Well, I’m sure you’re wondering who this my ‘husband’ is. Because if I’d gotten married without some of you’s knowledge, the amount of begging I’d have to do might just exceed the amount of patience I have in my account. #aintnobodygattimefo’that

But back to the question; who’s this my ‘husband’? My dear, it’s one of my brothers oh! As in I have another younger brother between this my brother and me. So I don’t know why people would think he’s my husband.


There’s a tenth of the number of years prophesied for the captivity of Israel in Babylon, between us two (if you don’t know what that number is, it should be available in the head of any good Christian near you! Or just be lazy and just Google it!)

For me, I take it as a compliment because the people that have said it to me/us recently have been around us for a while. And if they believe I look that young, then I must really look that young. Phew!

I just smile and say, No, he’s my younger brother with emphasis on the ‘younger‘ so they know. I would normally add the year difference but I’ve recently decided not to any more because it’s just TMI IMO, tbh!

Depending on who asks, we/I usually turn it into a joke and try to explain but at the same time make the people feel comfortable and not stupid for asking and/or presuming. But in the near future, I’m probably going to take the mick out of someone by playing along with their assumptions and see where that leads. I can be naughty at times.


On his birthday last year, I uploaded a picture we took two Christmases ago with a long post celebrating him. Next thing I knew, a classmate from years gone by started congratulating me on my engagement, that’s he’s been waiting for this time. I didn’t even see the comments till much later.

I just replied, he’s my brother. It made me laugh and shake my head at the assumption this person was making but it probably was coming from a good place, so it’s all good in the hood.

I’ve had this also happen with other younger friends of mine. I remember I was with one at a mutual friend’s wedding and got asked the same question twice in that same wedding if he was my husband. I just laughed, again he’s about 4/5 years younger.

I put a picture with another younger friend on WhatsApp or BBM and a friend messaged me asking if he was the ‘one’. Again, maybe 6/7 years younger. My answer? Simply No.


So I’ll like to give a big shout out to Jesus for making me look much younger than my age. For blessing me with these compliments on how good I look in a coupling. Of marriage expectations. I just take them all as prophetic because I believe one day, my answer will be “Yes, thank you. That’s really kind of you. We’ve been married for ___ years.”

To your enjoyment of even the awkward, . . .

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